In episode 853 Kevin and Alan sit down with Podcaster, Mindset Mentor, Best Selling Author, and Self Leadership Coach, Jason Goldberg. He shares with us some impressive points on the importance of learning yourself.
It’s important to understand the definition of self-leadership which in short form, is taking personal responsibility. Arguably, self-leadership is the only form of leadership. It may appear that we are leading others but we set the example that inspires self-leadership in others. Goldberg shares how self-leadership involves using curiosity and creativity about the world to navigate our own thoughts instead of falling victims to those thoughts. It’s also embodying the approach of taking more control over how we navigate life and not about controlling life itself.
Goldberg shares with us that no one is immune to the human experience. He coaches many celebrities and recognizes that no matter the profession or status, we are all trying to optimize how we respond to life. To think everyone else has it together is a debilitating misconception. The reality is, we all undergo the same core human problems.
Many of us are all in the same boat with human struggles, so if self-leadership is so important, and owning our life and trials is equally important, how come more people don’t take personal responsibility? The truth is, for many of us it wasn’t modeled growing up. It wasn’t as common for older generations to embody self-awareness and personal responsibility. We can’t be expected to do what we weren’t exposed to.
Here’s another example of where our lack of personal responsibility might come from. Our childhood experience sets the precedent for our learned behaviors as we grow up. We may have learned that being a victim of our circumstances is the best way to get love, acceptance, approval. We may deduce that it’s the healthiest way as a child to receive love.
The problem is, this core belief leads into adulthood. It results in absolving ourselves of any personal responsibility or personal power. Recognize where you are choosing to be that person with this mindset. We need to recognize the areas where we are still hoping someone is going to come along and save us. No one is coming. We must get real with ourselves about what we can change and stay integral to our word. It’s important to ask for help, but we must realize that we are the ones responsible for our own lives.
When learning about ourselves it’s also crucial to understand just how much of our growth journey is external resources versus internal personal growth. Goldberg understands it to be an 80/20 rule, with 20 still being on the higher side for external resources. It can be easy to discount mindset but nothing we learn will actually implement itself on its own. We need the right mindset to implement those strategies, thus we must never underestimate developing a growth mindset.
Another example of why it’s so important to keep learning about ourselves is a point that Goldberg talks about, “Success is 90 percent who you are and 10 percent what you do.”We can have all the skills and that’s great but who you are is the reason why you can hear something so many times but at some point, it actually clicks. This tells us that we don’t have to be revolutionary with how we show up in the world, we just have to be evolutionary.
It’s more valuable to bring an evolved perspective into every conversation.
We must also keep learning about ourselves to recognize what our genius zone is. As we know, there are many personal development coaches. One thing that sets Goldberg apart is his storytelling and ability to share metaphors in his coaching. The special thing about stories and metaphors is that it tricks the ego.
The ego tries to block out what the coach saying if it triggers certain blind spots. When a story is used, the ego doesnt become resistant. This is because it’s not a direct identification of weak spots so the message seeps in and sticks. Just remember, however, that the ego is not a bad thing, it’s a protective measure and keeps us alive. It’s also a great tool but if repurposed incorrectly, it’s not a good tool at all.
Moving on, it’s imperative to understand the qualities of a self-leader and also identify which qualities we might already have. Goldberg’s example of an incredible leader is that of his former boss. He leads by his own examples and integrity. He made you feel supported while still keeping his employees in the loop with what was going on. The main thing he shares about his boss is how he made others feel held and protected and carried an “I got you” energy. People are generally attracted to this supportive energy. It’s hardwired in us to gravitate towards people who can keep us safe and teach us how to keep ourselves safe.
Hopefully, these incredible points and tips have given you some insight into self-exploration and leadership. Personal development is a never-ending rewarding journey. In order to be the best version of yourself, it’s so important to keep learning about yourself. To learn more about Goldberg’s work, follow him on Instagram @thejasongoldberg. Also check out his bestselling book Prison Break: Vanquish the Victim, Own your obstacles, and Lead Your Life. And remember, you can only grow to the level of your awareness, so keep learning, keep growing, and get around those like-minded people.