In episode 832, Kevin and Alan unfold how to create conscious relationships with Deep Intimacy Coach and Author, Lorin Krenn.
What sets a conscious relationship apart? Think of it like this, toxic relationships are led by trauma, thus challenges arise. These toxic relationships often result in confusion. While conscious relationships lead to more growth, harmony, and emotional safety.
A conscious relationship also requires conflict. Sometimes we get caught up in the vision of an unrealistic relationship where conflict never occurs. These relationships are usually used by partners to fill voids in each other’s lives. Whereas a conscious and healthy relationship would assist with healing as well as create new awareness.
Most importantly, relationships are more than just physical intimacy. Krenn shares that conscious relationships are the “spiritual training ground” and emphasize that the point of a relationship is actually growth.
Relationships also give us the opportunity for accountability and change. For people who indulge in negative habits and then truly fall in love, the relationship forces them to grow. They need to change how they’re showing up for each other. It gives reasons for deep work. If you’re truly in love, then you’ll do more for the relationship than you will for yourself.
The other disguised gift that conscious relationships give us are mirrors. Say, for example, that you keep leaving laundry on the floor and your partner becomes upset and you default to defense, instead of acknowledgment. What does this tell you about the unhealed trauma within yourself? In other words, relationships are a mirror of a much deeper issue than in our current awareness. They reveal what’s beneath the surface of our souls.
Now, what makes a relationship aligned? Do you feel excited but scared? It’s okay to be scared if it stems from caring about doing enough in the relationship. However, if you feel scared because you don’t feel safe in your body with them, then this is out of alignment. Ask yourself, how do I feel in my body? We often make stories in our heads, and our minds will distort the truth. Please, take a breath, look within and ask yourself what’s really happening inside me. Your body is responding to the current moment and is the real compass.
What does it feel like to be out of alignment? Everything feels hard, rigid, confusing, while when in alignment, it is effortless. Not easy, but effortless; a sense of unfolding, and fitting within a groove.
Ok, now you might be asking, do we need our partner to have the same core aspirations, values, and beliefs in order to be in alignment? Not necessarily, but what if those aspirations, values, and beliefs are in conflict? Krenn states, “we don’t need to have the exact same ideas about life, we just both need to want to go as deep as possible.” Therefore, this remains the most important concept, and everything else aligns.
Very few relationships have this core intention. Why? In Krenn’s experience, “at the deepest level, we are not hungry enough to experience the true nature of love.”
If you take a deeper dive into Krenn’s work, the intention is for you to realize that there’s nothing wrong with you. Instead, the reason that you are experiencing difficulty with developing strong conscious relationships is that you haven’t been shown the way yet. So, give yourself some grace and love. Be sure to check out his work at https://www.lorinkrenn.com/ and follow him on Instagram at https//www.instagram.com/lorinkrenn/.